Saturday, August 7, 2010

No Way Out?

Part of me wants to quit Teach for America. Not because I don't enjoy the program or want to teach, it's just that I really REALLY don't want to be in Philadelphia - I just want to stay in Boston. I'd feel the same way regardless of where I was placed, I just want to live in Boston, even if that means being at home longer.

I just can't imagine living down in Philly and actually enjoying my life there. Sure I can be content, but the work is going to be so trying and difficult, and without any of my really good friends there, and knowing they are all still together in Boston, is going to make it even more difficult.

And while I am psyched to teach social studies, it's still not exactly what I would like to be doing. I'd rather be in Boston, either teaching ESL again or doing something else, or even going back to China or Korea and doing some program there. Anything but being in a city that I'm not excited to be in. And if anything does happen and I do quit, I feel like it has to be done sooner rather than later. Once I start taking UPenn courses, I will be placed into further debt due to their tuition loans.

Part of me wishes I had committed to the Peace Corps way back when. I could be in Mongolia right now living in a tent, uncomfortable but content.

I don't know, I think it's just that I feel this way because I'm having a pretty rough day, and I'm not prepared to leave Boston on Sunday - I need more time to patch up some lose ends. And I'm not looking forward to the move either; it's going to be a long, stressful, and hectic day. Things just aren't coming together I way I had thought.

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