Monday, April 4, 2011

Life on the Other Side

This past weekend I took a trip with my family up to Maine for a pseudo-family reunion with my mother's side of the family. It was great to see all of my relatives and even to be able to spend some time with my sisters. I think the best part of the weekend was that it grounded me in realizing that while things in my life may not be as stable as I'd like them to be, no matter what may happen, it's not the end of the world.

I think that during the past few months I've really lost sight of myself. It seems silly to say, but I've spent so much time keeping myself busy, spending time with other people, and making sure my work and schoolwork are up to par that I have in turn lost myself. To put it simply, I've been going with the flow of life for the past few months and haven't really stopped to reflect or look at the bigger picture around me. I'm absorbed myself into my work and schoolwork and I haven't taken the effort to separate my life from these two facets. And what makes it that much harder is that I've come to simply associate work with Philadelphia - because to put it simply, I'm living in this city solely for work. Therefore I find it difficult to separate the two. Then when I go home to Boston and I distance myself from work, the city takes on this bright glow of positivity and I find myself wanting to stay longer.

Basically what I've learned this weekend is that I need to separate myself. Perhaps I could have a 9-5 job that I wouldn't have to think about when the work day was over. However, I'd miss out on doing something that I really enjoy or seeing children that make me happy each day. I may not be the greatest teacher, but I think it's evident that I am building relationships with my students and that (for the most part) I am happy to be teaching them each day.

I just need to keep my head above the water and hope that I don't drown.

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