I need to take back my life. I feel as though my life is being pulled into different directions, and I've let go of the reins. This is unacceptable.
As my first year of teaching draws to a close, much uncertainty is clouding whatever happiness and jubilation I should be experiencing. Having been let go from the school I'm at now, my confidence that I'll be re-placed at a new school this fall by Teach for America is not high. It seems as though they will be leaving me on the back burner while they first take care of the new corps members and others who were laid off by the district. For once, my life has no clear path laid out in front of me. I doubt my situation with Teach for America will be dealt with until the end of the summer, therefore I'll be left with an entire summer of worry: worrying whether I'll be teaching in the fall, wondering if I should look for a new job, etc. Just what I was looking for!
On top of that bottle of uncertainty, I've allowed some other people in my life to make some decisions for me that I'm not wholeheartedly feeling. Instead of being honest with other people and expressing my concerns, I let my sympathy (for what though?!) take over and I find it nearly impossible to say "no" or turn someone down. And that leaves me doing things that my heart isn't necessarily in.
I need to learn to stand my ground. Not even just that, but I need to learn how to say what's on my mind and realize that doing so will not hurt the feelings of those around me. I seem to have this notion that people actually care about my opinions and decisions. But they probably don't...
SIDETRACK away from all of the things that are up in the air with my life, my friend got me hooked on this YouTube channel - 5AwesomeGays and I've been (quickly) going through their 800+ videos this week. It's a really cool little vlog thing where they have one guy posting a video for each day of the week (M-F). They're pretty funny and entertaining, so I highly recommend watching a few if you're bored!